Tales of the Parodyverse

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AJA
Thu Feb 02, 2006 at 01:03:01 pm EST
Subject
Looking for Inclusion & not Finding any.
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In a good part of The CIty in a yet unnamed office building on one of the upper floors is the private detective office of Arnie J. Armbruster. Also there is his secretary/assistant/friend: Snookie.

"Snookie?" Arnie asked from his office within the larger office.

"Yes?" Snookie replied from her desk in the waiting room.

"Are you related to a highly trained assassin hiding out from the Intelligence Agency and trying to get used to a civilian existence?"

"What?" Snookie said as she came into Arnie's Office.

Arnie's feet were propped up on his desk & he was looking over a book.

"Let me rephrase that question: Are you related to Keiko Takashi?"

"Not that I know of. Why?"

"Oh. No Reason. I was just looking over the Who's Who to our Universe, the 13.2 edition."

"Why?"

"I was bored."

"Are we in that?"

"We should be." Arnie said & flipped back to the Table of Contents. "Let's see. We are not part of The Lair Legion, The Junior Lair Legion, The League of Regulars, The Abandoned Legion, The JBH, SPUD or EEE."

"I think in the last one the E's are each pronouced seperately & not to like a squeal."

"Oh. My bad. So, were not Heroes, Villains, Lair Legion Staff, part of any Heroic Groups and Organisations. Were not Semi-Active, Retired or Currently Dead Characters."

"Currently Dead? You mean people are coming back from the dead?"

"Yes, quit interupting. Were not Aliens or Cosmic Characters."

"Then, who are we?" Snookie interupted.

"The only thing left: Other Supporting Characters." Arnie said & flipped over to that section. He began scanned it for his name, Snookie's & anyone else that might be related to them.

"Hmmm... Let's see... Con Johnstantine, Herbert P. Garrick, J. James Jerkson, Commissioner Don Graham, Reverend Mac Fleetwood, Laurie Leyton, Lania, Bethany Shellett, Big Thick Eddie, Deeela, Sayaana, Philaana, Noona, Miiri, Odoona, Losiira, Luuma, Kaara, Shazana Pel, The Abyssal Greye, Princess Uhunalura Amalandriana Excelsior!, Ebony of Nubilia, Ruby Waver, Bernice Teshmaker, Mr Limpqvist Lundqvist, Yi, Caveguy, Elsqueevio, Woopsa the Rakshasa, Chad & Ronnie, Professor Weed Writchards & Friends. Last on the list are The Detonator Hippos."

"So, no mention of us?"

"Apparently."

"Check the Where's Where for us? The City has to be in there!" Snookie said.

Arnie puts down the Who's Who & picks up the Where's Where, the 3.5 edition.

"Are you sure these are the most current?" Snookie asked.

"Yes." Arnie replied & open the book to the table of contents. "Let's see... They have it sperated into 5 sections: the Main Cities, Other Cities, Other Places, the Outer Space, and Other Dimensions."

"Try Other Cities?"

Arnie flips over there & starts to scan "Arkham, Massachusetts. Arachknight City. Seattle, Washington. Littlesmallville & Vesalia, City of the Apes."

"That's it for City Listings?"

"Yes. Except for Parrodipolis & GothamMetroplois York."

"So, were not in there either."

"Apparently."

"What's that other book over there?" Snookie asked & pointed to a book.

"The History of our Universe."

"We've done stuff. We must be in there!" Snookie said getting desperate.

"Ok." Arnie said as he put down the Where Where's & picked up the When's When.

Arnie opens the book to the Table of Contents. "This book divides up Time into Era's."

"Try Current Era." Snookie suggests.

Arnie flips over to now & says "It doesn't have it listed."

"What?"

"See!" Arnie said & shows Snookie the section, it says "Present Day (This Year): Still to be listed here."

"So, no one is listed."

"Apparently."

"At least everyone was left out this time."

"Yes & the history is in serious need of an update."

"Why?"

"I just noticed that this current edition is from 2002."

"What happened to the last 4 years?"

"I don't know. I know they happened."

"I guess nothing important happened."

"We happened!"

"I guess were not important."

"I guess so."

THE END.



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